My Recent 8 day Excursion

NOTE: This took place circa mid-July, but my friends thought it shouldn't be left out of a much deserved blog space :D.

Folks,

I've been MIA in the last week to indulge in what I originally thought
would be a relaxing, 8 day tour of the New England states and parts of the
lesser country otherwise known as Canada. I also took my mom along as her bday gift, but little did I realize that it will provide me with such elaborate writing material.

You have been warned. Read at your own discretion :D.

Day 1:
The day was primarily occupied by a flight from SFO to New York JFK. Since I have been travelling freqently before I expected this to be a routine flight without much drama. It wasn't, except the fact that American Airlines was more like Attitude Airlines. I've met some wonderful flight attendants who probably went through a recent paycut, but needless to say they were more like Imperial guards then employees in the service industry.

After we got to JFK we met our tour guide who had sunglasses on in broad darkness with highlighted hair. Sounds like a classic picture from an Asian mafia book.... He basically had an English level equivalent to a 3rd grader.

Day 2:
Manhattan day. This is the 4th time to embark on this little island and I would not subject myself to the torture of climbing the Empire state building and the sodding statue again. Both didn't happen, but we went on a "cruise" on the Hudson and around Manhattan. The guide on the boat was quite energetic, but she boasted how the Empire State building was completed in only one year and 45 days. I said, "Well, if there aren't any jobs in the Great Depression then getting 500 people to build a freakin building shouldn't take that long...." She then began a propaganda about anti-terrorism when we went past ground zero, and out of the blue she reminded us of the Holocaust. I really saw a connection there so I brought up the number of slaves killed on the luxo yachts to the colonial states. She was not pleased, but I was :D.

Day 3:
Bus to Philly and DC. I heard notorious stories about the climates of both cities and they held true. Humidity was sky high and I simply could not understand why this country's founding fathers chose the cradle of this nation there. I didn't know the Independence bell was actually quite small and it actually cracked during testing. A testament to British engineering....

Day 4:
By this time I have been losing sleep because I wasn't used to the 6 a.m. - 10 p.m. schedule, and the bus didn't offer a refuge as it was primarily filled with annoying old timers speaking languages I could not recognize. Any chicks you asked? The best looking chick other than my mom was myself. Today we toured Corning glass museum and other places of relatively little interest to the average American. The museum was better than I thought with various exhibits and a history of glass making. Also went on a boat ride to see the falls up close and we got soaking wet despite the full body latex (plastic) protection. FYI, the Canadian side is much livelier with a strip of casinos with a semi-Vegas with a dash of Pier 39 feel. Since we were overly patriotic we decided to stay on the US side instead.

Word of advice - Do not ever stay at the Four Points Sheraton at Niagara Falls.

Day 5:
O Canada! Made it to Toronto and Ottawa. Toronto, while being the largest city, didn't have much to write about except for the CN Tower. I believe it's the tallest structure in the world but the observation deck is not its tallest point. The first thing in my mind was anyone who jumps off this building can claim a spectacular death with bragging rights in the next life, but that's not enough to prompt me to justify such a spontaneous
act. It also amazingly, had a quarter section just filled with 2 layers of glass so you can look directly below. When the tour guide asked me if I jumped on the glass floor, I told him I cracked it and claimed no responsibility.

Ottawa was quite exquisite with a dash of old world charm and a good number of Canadien beauties. I obliged to sit at a sidewalk cafe and admire what the nation's capital had to offer. O Canada indeed!

Day 6:
Montreal. Wow, I thought I was in France but the locals actually politely replied in English when spoken to. There's a good mix of minorities here, and I really wanted to sample Canadien flavored French cuisine. Instead the group opted for Pho. Ok, I know Vietnam was a French colony at one point but the connection ends there, really. The town also had a reputation for night live and it held true. When the group went back to the hotel I got myself a subway map and went to an area called St Catherine's. It was extremely lively for a Thursday night and the scenery was a sight to behold. You can say I left my heart in Montreal, not San Francisco.

Day 7:
Boston for some clam chowda! Being a Yankee hater it was only appropriate for me to set foot on this town, but the first thing I notice was the town was tore up, literally. Detours were everywhere and the traffic was the worst aside from Manhattan. Other than that I saw some famous landmarks: Boston tea party, Charlestown naval yard (home of the USS Constitution), the site of Cheers ...etc. We briefly visited Harvard and the first thing I noticed was a local watch shop was selling Patek Philippe, Rolex,
Audemars Piguet and various other fine timepieces. Wait a minute...isn't this a
college town?! I decided to unleash hell by unloading in a fine Harvard bathroom. As I walked along the hallways of University Hall I realized it housed the offices of many Deans. Yup, the big dogs. Justice was served.

Day 8:
Last day in Boston where we continued to see some famous landmarks and traversed well known areas where the locals hang out. Due to the numerous fine colleges in the area one can imagine why housing prices in this town are high. I can understand why people move here, indeed. The day capped off with another flight aboard Attitude Airlines. Same service as usual, please go bankrupt, and let other more deserving airlines have your terminals.

Some things which I have left out:

1) My tourmates, for the most part, likes to be the first to disembark the bus and raid the buffets. Needless to say, courtesy was a novel concept.

2) We had a new tour guide starting from Day 2. He was actually pretty funny and was amazingly diplomatic when two individuals held the group back by MIA for about 30 minutes on the last day when we were almost late for their flights. He had to search for them and returned flushed-red, but somehow just said, "Please don't forget what I said on where to meet, but it's ok. You guys may not have heard me well from the back, so it's ok :D"

3) One elevator claimed *MAX - 8 PPL*, but we were able to fit 14 in there and they were complaining I was keeping them out. I rebutted, "Ok - just be prepared to die" Dead silience until we reached our floor safely......

Conslusion:
In retrospect there are only two things going for the Bay Area: weather + jobs. Unfortunately these are often the 2 most important factors for survival and this is why the area commands the highest median home price and why people flock here. Philly is not my place unless I worship McNabb, and the suburbs of DC are quite scenic ;), but it too is too humid. Montreal, Ottawa, and Boston, in this order, are places that I would ask my
friends here to consider shall they choose to move. O Canada!