Fresh....indeed

I am on a roll today so I might as well continue. Earlier I promised my friends I would post 101 stereotypes on my blog but alas, time and commitments have made that a daunting task. But inspired by my recent outings I would like to compile a list of stereotypes often associated with FOBs. For the innocent ones, FOB stands for Fresh Off the Boat. The history of this term mostly dates to the post Vietnam days, where mass emigrats from Southern Asia invaded Anglo-Saxon dominated America like Genghis Khan's troops. In those days, they often arrived by Boat. Nowadays of course they come in all classes, from Burger King mongol in coach to CEOs in first class.

Drum roll please ........

1) Must converse in native tongue - Yes, English is banned! You will be shot if you use ABC's!
2) Listen to dog slow or overly happy music, native tongue of course
3) Know all about Jay Chow - frankly, he looks like a shrimp who could bench 50 lbs at best
4) Listen to overly rapid techno - they love DNA lounge and listening to that stuff makes them look pimpy
5) Dye their hair or highlight it with a shade of brown - I never understood this one, but can't you be more creative like dying it in green or blue instead? Why brown?
6) Hate sports except for ping pong - Ping pong is hard, indeed, but there's no professional league of Ping Pongers in good ol' US of A
7) Far from outspoken - somehow they like to dissociate with everyone except for their own posse. What I don't get is if they don't like meeting new people, how did they wind up knowing their fellow gang members? For others this is often seen as stuck-up. Most aren't, but somehow this is the image they convey
8) PGA - no, not the Golf tour, but Prada Gucci Armani. They don't wear anything else because it's not good enough to clothe their chestless and assless bodies
9) Love pale skin - wait a second, you wanna be White? Didn't u just tell me you hate White people? Stop hanging out in the enclosed malls looking for PGA!
10) V for Peace, not victory - somehow they conjured up the post of "V" in their pictures. V for peace, not for victory. Personally I told a couple of them the next time I will cut off their fingers with a pair of scissors
11) Drive a 3 series - the purveyor of fine automobiles indeed. Since when has the 3 series rank the highest in the automobile echelon?
12) Put good luck charms or a family of dolls in their fine automobile - look, if you have road rage you will die no matter how big that lucky charm is, and that family sitting in the back really screws up your rear view vision: it's known to cause many parking accidents :D
13) Afraid of Black folks - this is true, somehow they think Blacks are criminals and only good at sports
14) Likes to be Japanese - somehow they confuse their names with Kenichi or Yuko. You are Mai Ling or Zhi Lun you dumbass. It's not because they like anime or JPOP, it's because they dress in the same manner and share the same body language.

and last but not least.....

15) If you know them too well they will try to FOB-inize you - please, don't Jay Chow me to death!!!

At this age I realize we should also use the same term for European FOBs, because they too have their own quirky ways. So far the one thing I've seen is they somehow love wearing black leather jackets with an ugly short sleeve shirt underneath. I have no clue where they discovered this fashion statement. I will need to learn more before I give y'all a list, so stay tuned.